LemonJelly said:
And is that the right message to be portraying to kids? I have a 2 year old and she occasionally reaches out to push someone, or gently hit them. Should I ignore it or correct her to say it isn't a nice thing to do? Likewise if she is pushed or hit, should I tell her to hit the other person back?
So if she gets punched in the face she should stand there and take it? It's the big debate isn't it...
Put it like this, I went to secondary school and I bullied from day one. At first it was name-calling but it gradually got worse and worse, and six months in I was getting punched and tripped every day, and beaten up by a gang of people once a week. I never once hit them back, and to this day I've never hit anybody. My next-door neighbour could come and hit me in the face for no reason, and I'd shut the door, sit down and go back to the XBOX (and I swear to God that is no exaggeration).
I told my parents about it, the teachers about it, the headmaster. One half of the parents said "hit them back" (which I could never do and they knew it), the other half said I was a poof and probably deserved it, the teachers said "get on with it, see the headmaster if you've got to" and the headmaster said, with me sitting there with blood pouring down my face - and I quote - "boys will be boys Christopher - bullying doesn't exist in this school, take it all with good humour".
I was devestated, I laughed out loud, walked out, and I vowed never to go back to school again. I was pushed into special schools by the local council, where they were packed with arsonists and lessons consisting of 1+1=2 - I wasn't thick, I loved the actual learning side of school. After a week of that I promised myself I'd never do what these bastards wanted me to do ever again, even though they were threatening to jail my parents which was an idle threat (I explained the bullying to the police and they just said there was nothing they could do, that was the school's area), and I never did go back to any school, bar three years at college; even that was put to a stop when the symptoms that were first showing at secondary school started showing (one of the bullies from that school appeared in my final year there). I don't feel like I can have a life, it's impossible to get a decent job with the few qualifications I got from college, and the idea of going to Uni scares the shit out of me after what I went through.
Now, if I'd have had the nerve to turn around and punch the bastards in the face from day one, they wouldn't have done it again. End of, don't care what you say. If I'd have got in trouble for it, fine, but the most I would have got was a detention and then I could have got on with life, and if I could travel back in time, even though I'd struggle to do it, I'd sure as hell punch them back and get on with getting an education rather than having the life I've got now.
So say what you want, I know violence is wrong and I would never ever do anything of the kind (without going back in time at least); but when the same was happening to my nephew and the school wouldn't do anything, our family clubbed together and said "punch him back and he won't do it again". And he punched him, and he never did it again. He hasn't punched anybody since, he hasn't been violent since, he's not been aggressive since (that's both the nephew AND the bully I'm referring to there). But if the nephew gets punched now, he'll do it back.
The way that bullying is handled in this country is disgusting, a lot of people have since said to me they went through exactly the same things, from that school and from several others in the area (and outside). But even if they got their act together, going to the bully and saying "now we know you're hitting this guy, don't do it again or you'll know about it", the bully will then get twice as worse. It's no deterrent. My parents approached a few of the bullies' parents and their reaction was "our son does NOTHING of the kind, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" - and you could tell from the way they spoke to their son that they knew he was a complete shitbag at school. The next day we had a brick through the window, and who was running up the road? It wasn't a schoolboy. It was an adult.
Sorry, but punch them back and it's over. Take it, and you're setting yourself up for a lifetime's worth more.
If the game has any influence on anybody, which I very, very much doubt it will, then it could only be a good thing. It's not saying "bullying is fun". It's saying "standing up for yourself will give you a better life". Which is true - obviously, not standing up for yourself and letting it go on isn't a life. Thousands upon thousands of kids are robbed of a childhood because of bullies. If this helps one of them to punch them back and end it all, then I'm for the game 100%.
:mrgreen:
@ studeep the ability to rename them would be excellent! would make me laugh if nothing else.
