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The ALL-NEW Caption Competition

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Nora couldn't hold the puke back when she heard Dave had paid twenty fucking quid for that disgusting shirt he was wearing.
 
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Doris was losing a pint of blood through her mouth again, Beatrice seemed to have had lost her drink...but it was Ricardo who felt he had now lost everything in life after realising he had spent most of his existence as a janitor in an old folks home, if only he had made a better showing during that trial at West Ham 10 years earlier...
 
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Betty Davies looked around to see the next family member arrive at the Davies family reunion, it was Chris, the bad Grandson who she hadn't seen in 15 years, 60lbs heavier now with yellow bleached hair, no teeth left and a cigarette propped in his mouth. Beside him was his girlfriend with a safety pin rammed through her nostril and half a bottle of wholesale vodka in her hand. Chris's other Grandmother Nora was physically ill with the shock.
 
We'd get complaints from the parents of any children who happen to see it ;)

Nah I prefer action shots with lots going on but cheers for the thought!
 
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Jack Ass From the Seventies - Jonny Knoxville runs out of ideas as 'Wee Gran' Trys to suck her own puke out of a bin
 
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Whilst getting a drink, Mildred turned round to see if anyone noticed her "silent-but-violent" wind breakage.
 
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Dermot was really pissed off he'd finished second in the caption comp, his wife was sick to the stomach and joost (center) had already hit the bottle.
 
SEASON FOUR: ROUND 1 RESULTS

MY LIST

1st Place: jj710 (SUPERB)
Whilst getting a drink, Mildred turned round to see if anyone noticed her "silent-but-violent" wind breakage.

2nd Place: jaygrim
Dermot was really pissed off he'd finished second in the caption comp, his wife was sick to the stomach and joost (center) had already hit the bottle.

3rd Place: Dermot
Jumberto's Season 3 afterparty

HER LIST

1st Place: Jack Bauer (:D)
The launch party for Johnny Depp's latest film, The Bing Crosby Story, didn't have quite the level of babes he was used to. "22 cansh and I shtill don't want eitherofthemohgodivegoneblind."

2nd Place: Radiation
As Doris sat in her chair having a stroke and chocking to death, Betty realized hiring Raul '11 inches' Rodriguez, wasn't an appropriate 90th birthday present after all.

3rd Place: jumberto
Nora couldn't hold the puke back when she heard Dave had paid twenty fucking quid for that disgusting shirt he was wearing.

And what a start to the competition!
 
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SEASON FOUR: ROUND 2 (4th April - 11th April)
Please remember to read the rules on the first page of the thread

This one's a particular favourite of mine...

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"YES THAT'S THE MAN!" screamed the girl as she pointed him out. At last, the singing retard rapist had been caught.
 
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Saturday nights were his special nights, the one night they let him out of the home
 
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Man in crowd pointing at the microphone; "You sing out of that you fucking Retard, we cant fucking hear you!!!!"
 
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Graham follows in the footsteps of Paul Potts to become the second retarded winner of Britain's Got Talent.
 
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After failing to kill Cristiano Ronaldo with a laser pen recently, criminals turn to paralysing popstars using just the shadow of their hands and cries of 'You twat'.
 
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Oooh The Hokey Cokey, Oooooh the Hokey Cokey.......Knees Bend, Arms and Face Retarded, Raa Raa Raa!!
 
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Halfway through "Where the Streets Have No Name" the sunglasses fell off...and all of a sudden the 40,000 fans realised this wasn't U2 they had paid to see...
 
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Jimmy and Ray were in the front row as they always were at concerts, trying as usual to outwit each other on who can do the best shadow puppet, Jimmy on the left doing a wolf howling at the moon while on the right Ray done his best Frankenstein face with both hands.
 
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Barry was the only audience member to see the 290lbs lighting rig detach from the rafters and head straight for the lead singers head, no amount of pointing and shouting could prevent the inevitable...
 
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