The Mental Health Thread

[Flipper the Priest]

Thought about starting a thread like this for a while now and here we are. It's a football video game forum. My guess is that we're a bulk of males aged 18-40. As far as mental ill health goes, we're fish in a barrel.

Cards on the table, I've had my problems. Diagnosed over 10 years ago and, having been to counselling and psychotherapy, I still have to manage my mental health carefully.

See if you have any worries or you're struggling - fire away. Let's have a conversation or, if you want, feel free to give me a message.

 

[Chuny]

Yeah, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Nothing to hide.
What have you been diagnosed with, if you don't mind me asking?.

I don't really have much to share about myself.
Sometimes I'm just too straight forward. People say I'm too sincere, like it's a bad thing.

 

[Flipper the Priest]

Yeah, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Nothing to hide.
What have you been diagnosed with, if you don't mind me asking?.

I don't really have much to share about myself.
Sometimes I'm just too straight forward. People say I'm too sincere, like it's a bad thing.

No problem.

Was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2008. It was bubbling away before I had a breakdown. Booze didn't help - I was binge drinking all too regularly and it all came to a head. Was signed off work and went into hiding for a few weeks.

Resurfaced in 2012 when it was near enough the same, manifesting itself in panic attacks. Between those episodes and ever since my mood undulates and I have learned to read the signs and take action. I have epilepsy which rules out medication, unless I want to have seizures every other day. So it's all CBT-based.

I believe a lot of the conversation about mental health is flawed. It's too simple. 'Talk about it'. 'Open up'. It's not easy! And it's only the first step. Admittedly, it's the biggest one.

 

[fefepes]

i suffer from depression and anxiety. its crippled me since i was 18. now i try to counter it with meditation. i do not want drugs.

and no not told doc. only few people know.

but meditation does help if you stick to it guys

 

[wildwind]

meditation does help if you stick to it guys

Agree on meditation help on both mental and physical health when keep on meditate regularly

 

[Flipper the Priest]

I agree.

The stigma around meditation and mindfulness is harmful. So much effort into removing the stigma around the illness but not the cures.

We're not talking about hitting the beach at sunset in the lotus position. Little things. Breathing exercises, connecting with your surroundings and not your thoughts. Things you can do at your desk, in your bed, on the toilet, on a walk - they have helped me in the past.

 

[fefepes]

I agree.

The stigma around meditation and mindfulness is harmful. So much effort into removing the stigma around the illness but not the cures.

We're not talking about hitting the beach at sunset in the lotus position. Little things. Breathing exercises, connecting with your surroundings and not your thoughts. Things you can do at your desk, in your bed, on the toilet, on a walk - they have helped me in the past.

for me its 24 mins(1 min for every hour of day) at 6am in morning. when i can make myself wake up early for 2-3 weeks in a row doing this its remarkable how relaxed can feel.

 

[jaygrim]

Not many people know that i hit rock bottom a couple of years ago now. Was telling myself over and over every second of every day to kill myself, I was at an all time low.

I've always had anxiety issues since I was a kid and freak out meeting new people and being forced to do stuff I don't really want to do. Work , people pissing me off and finding out I had this genetic problem really came to a head that time though. I remember being on a late shift when I was thinking of ending it all and my usual 30 minute drive home took nearly two hours.

I'd totally lost the plot and no one in my family had a clue. The next day i got to see my doctor and they gave me medication, I'm feeling a lot better now but its always in the back of my mind that I could go again. I've tried not taking the pills but after a couple of days feel it all coming back.

Anyway I'm good at the moment but if anyone needs a chat I'm only a PM away, you or i felt a lot better talking about it.

 

[Stan]

I'm 57 years old and i have a son who has a serious anxiety problems.
It started when he was 12 and was triggered by a change of school. Turned out that he wouldn't go to school. I even had to dress him.
After a couple of days, we got a message from school that he couldn't take it anymore and they didn't know what to do with him.
We started therapy with him and he got some sort of growth schedule: follwing one hour class for a week, then the next week two hours and so on. From the beginning he wanted to be ahead of schedule but at home things turned out to be worse. He couldn't sleep anymore because he had awfull nightmares and at night he was screaming from anxiety attacks.

The shrink decided that he should take prescrition drugs against the anxiety attacks (Abilify, a syrup). That had an immediate effect. He soon got much better. He needed those drugs for a year and a half and now he is fine. He will never be healed but he has some tricks that help him.

It turns out that he (and i too) has something very rare. We both have an average IQ but that is the result of extreme components. When we are good at something, we both are extremely good at it, but when we are bad at something we are also extremely bad at it. For me it complicates life (an example, i never ride a car, because i'm extremely bad at it) but because Thomas is a perfectionist he only focuses on the things he is bad and he is too ambitious in the things he excells in.

His big talent is music, he learned hilmself drums when he was 3 years old. Then he started following drum lessons and was accompanied on piano. He asked if he could play piano and he was better at it than his teacher. Afterwards he played organ and saxophone. When het got sick he stopped playing music. But when he was fourteen, he bought himself an electric guitar and became stunningly good at it. After a couple of months he stopped because according to him, he will never be good at it. People who play guitar tell him that they have never seen someone better at the guitar, but he stopped playing because he thinks he's shit at it.

He is a nice kid and we really love him but as parents it's very difficult to guide him although at heart he is a very easy and sociable kid...

You can also PM i you have problems. I've been through it, albeit with my son.

Fantastic thread by the way!

 

[Emroth]

I'm 57 years old and i have a son who has a serious anxiety problems.
It started when he was 12 and was triggered by a change of school. Turned out that he wouldn't go to school. I even had to dress him.
After a couple of days, we got a message from school that he couldn't take it anymore and they didn't know what to do with him.
We started therapy with him and he got some sort of growth schedule: follwing one hour class for a week, then the next week two hours and so on. From the beginning he wanted to be ahead of schedule but at home things turned out to be worse. He couldn't sleep anymore because he had awfull nightmares and at night he was screaming from anxiety attacks.

The the shrink decided that he should take prescrition drugs against the anxiety attacks (Abilify, a syrup). That had an immediate effect. He soon got much better. He needed thjose drugs for a year and a half and now he is fine. He will never be healed but he has some tricks that help him.

It turns out that he (and i too) has something very rare. We both have an average IQ but that is the result of extreme components. When we are good at something, we bothe are extremely good at it, but when we are bad at something we are also extremely bad at it. For me it complicates life (an example, i never ride a car, because i'm extremely bad at it) but because Thomas is ap erfectionist he only focuses on the things he is bad and he is too ambitious in the things he excells in.

His big talent is music, he learned hilmself drums when he was 3 years old. Then he started following drum lessons and was accompanied on piano. He asked if he could play piano and he was better at it than his teacher. Afterwards he played organ and saxophone. When het got sick he stopped playing music. But when he was fourteen, heb ought himself an electric guitar and became stunningly good at it. After a couple of months he stopped because according to him, he will never be good at it. People who play guitar tell him that they have never seen someone better at the guitar, but he stopped playing because he thinks he's shit at it.

He is a nice kid and we really love him but as parents it's very difficult to guide him although at heart he is a very easy and sociable kid...

You can also PM i you have problems. I've been through albeit with my son.

Fantastic thread by the way!

Man... that post teared me up big time..
Im just sitting here with my 5 year old in school uniform for the first time, on her first day and reading this broke my heart..
I hope he will get better in time.
Same goes to all you guys too, obviously.
And also - you can send me PM at any time if you want to talk.
I might share later when I have some time.
Take care everyone

 

[Flipper the Priest]

I'm 57 years old and i have a son who has a serious anxiety problems.
It started when he was 12 and was triggered by a change of school. Turned out that he wouldn't go to school. I even had to dress him.
After a couple of days, we got a message from school that he couldn't take it anymore and they didn't know what to do with him.
We started therapy with him and he got some sort of growth schedule: follwing one hour class for a week, then the next week two hours and so on. From the beginning he wanted to be ahead of schedule but at home things turned out to be worse. He couldn't sleep anymore because he had awfull nightmares and at night he was screaming from anxiety attacks.

The shrink decided that he should take prescrition drugs against the anxiety attacks (Abilify, a syrup). That had an immediate effect. He soon got much better. He needed those drugs for a year and a half and now he is fine. He will never be healed but he has some tricks that help him.

It turns out that he (and i too) has something very rare. We both have an average IQ but that is the result of extreme components. When we are good at something, we both are extremely good at it, but when we are bad at something we are also extremely bad at it. For me it complicates life (an example, i never ride a car, because i'm extremely bad at it) but because Thomas is a perfectionist he only focuses on the things he is bad and he is too ambitious in the things he excells in.

His big talent is music, he learned hilmself drums when he was 3 years old. Then he started following drum lessons and was accompanied on piano. He asked if he could play piano and he was better at it than his teacher. Afterwards he played organ and saxophone. When het got sick he stopped playing music. But when he was fourteen, he bought himself an electric guitar and became stunningly good at it. After a couple of months he stopped because according to him, he will never be good at it. People who play guitar tell him that they have never seen someone better at the guitar, but he stopped playing because he thinks he's shit at it.

He is a nice kid and we really love him but as parents it's very difficult to guide him although at heart he is a very easy and sociable kid...

You can also PM i you have problems. I've been through it, albeit with my son.

Fantastic thread by the way!

Thanks for sharing. Really interesting, I think, to read differing tales.

You highlight further flaws in the wider mental health dialogue. One being that it's not just the individual; it's their family, friends, schools, employers. 'Talk about it'. Who's listening? Are they prepared to hear what you have to say? Listening is a skill in itself, and displaying the right level of empathy is one hell of a task. My parents' reaction, for example, was more of a hindrance than a help. They were loving and supportive, but almost too much - fussing over me and blaming themselves. I'm eternally thankful for my sister, a social worker, who knew the balance between support and distance. During that one particular episode that was vital in my recovery.

And there's a word - recovery. There will be instances, I'm sure, where people will be cured of their mental health condition. Perhaps a situation or circumstance that they need to work through and process and, once that's achieved, their symptoms disappear. But me accepting that I'm fighting a war and not a battle was vital, helping me manage prevention and cure.

Sharing these stories and experiences are far better for awareness raising than the social media campaigns and soundbites.

 

[Emroth]

Ok, a bit from me.
I was never diagnosed with anything, I was never considered as one having any mental issues. As far as everyone is aware - im perfectly fine. And I am. I think...
This site is mostly visited by fellas.
Thing with fellas is that we dont talk about our problems. We think its a sign of weakness. We rarely even talk to our partners if we have issues.
We just let it sit and slowly eat us from the inside.
Im not much of a party guy. I enjoy peace and quiet. Have a handful of friends and I was always like that.
And I always thought I was born in wrong century. I dont like big cities, hate the rat race and disconnection in nowadays society.
Hate politics, hate what we do to this planet, animals and each other.
Everyone is within reach, yet people are more lonely than ever.
I was lucky enough to get away from big city and get a house down the country, which works wonders for my mental state.
But sometimes I think (and feel guilty even thinking this) "is that it? Whats the point of all that?"..
Fortunately friends I have are similar minded people and we talk about these things.
But I know that if I didnt reach out to someone from time to time - I could end up in some deep dark hole.
This site is more than just a football gaming site. We are all similar minded here.
Im really glad I found this place (thank you Pes19 - ye dreadful piece of crap).
We have a great community here and we should use it. There is always someone to talk to and nobody is alone in their struggles.

 

[jaygrim]

@Stan I was probably the same as your son but in the 70's no one really gave a shit. If I turned up at school and it would be school photo day or anything that put me in the spotlight I'd be straight outta there. When i when to primary school i played truant for six weeks until one of the boys from school asked my mum if I was still sick.

 

[Stan]

Both posts above this one are great. Flipper, i recognize the reaction of your parents.
We are also too supportive of Thomas at times. Finding the balance between being supportive and playing a 'normal' parent role is very difficult.
Thomas' school work is a fine example. He is doing well at school, even in his horror year he had good results at school.
He isn't lazy, but his problem is stress, due to his anxieties he has huge stress for exams. That affects his grades. It is very difficult for us to give him feedback about his school results.

Emroth, i recognize much of what you wrote in your post. Men don't talk about problems. When Thomas was sick, i felt very down, that was the worst thing that had happened in my life. I decided to talk about it with friends and colleagues and i got lots of help and simpathy from those people. That helps. Even more important, Thomas also decided to talk about his problems and he got enormous support of his friends (who were only 12 year old by the time). That helped him a lot. When he has a difficult period now, his friends understand and help him.

Conclusion: talking helps a lot.

 

[Stan]

@Stan I was probably the same as your son but in the 70's no one really gave a shit. If I turned up at school and it would be school photo day or anything that put me in the spotlight I'd be straight outta there. When i when to primary school i played truant for six weeks until one of the boys from school asked my mum if I was still sick.

I was a teenager in the '70's and yes you are right, nobody talked about mental problems...i described what i have and in school my teachers concluded that i was lazy...i bloody well knew that i wasn't but try to convince grown ups...certainly then...listening to music and reading was huge for me at the time...i could loose myself in it.

It must have been tough for you at that particular time and knowing what i know happened to my son. I remember that when he was afraid to go to school we tried to aply logic to coerce him going to school (millions of kids have done it before you, why wouldn't you be able to do it. Don't be afraid). That is totally wrong. When Thomas had accute anxiety, we had to play games with him to distract him (name all the yellow objects in the room, give an animal for each letter of the alphabet, give all the European capitals and things like that). Eventually he asked himself to play these games...we then knew what was coming...

 

[Stan]

Man... that post teared me up big time..
Im just sitting here with my 5 year old in school uniform for the first time, on her first day and reading this broke my heart..
I hope he will get better in time.
Same goes to all you guys too, obviously.
And also - you can send me PM at any time if you want to talk.
I might share later when I have some time.
Take care everyone

Thank you that was very kind and i hope it doesn't worry you for your daughter…
Thomas is much better now, and this started with the prescrition drugs. All in all the very difficult period only lasted 2,5 months.
He still has anxiety and it will always hamper him, but he has control over it now. He has learnt respiratory exercises that help him a lot, for example.
The fact that it started when he was very young also helps, in 75% of the anxiety cases this starts between roughly 18 and 20 years old. At that age your personality has formed itself, younger kids are more susceptible to therapy.
We as parents have also learned a lot.

 

[fefepes]

this thread has really made me think. i thank you

when i was 10 i spilt coke on myself at my birthday party, it still gives me a tinge of e,barassment/anxiety when i think about it

this is ridiculous and not right. no more breaks in healthy lifestyle for me. meditation everyday!

 

[Peter Withe]

Yeah, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Nothing to hide.
What have you been diagnosed with, if you don't mind me asking?.

I don't really have much to share about myself.
Sometimes I'm just too straight forward. People say I'm too sincere, like it's a bad thing.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 21. I’ve learned over the last 19 years how to cope and deal with it.

I’ve been prescribed SSRIs over the years when I’ve been really bad and they’ve helped a lot but they’re not for everyone.

I tried CBT once but it didn’t work for me.

 

[Flipper the Priest]

When I was on medication (fluoxetine) it definitely helped but it wasn't worth it for all the seizures I was having. Have been back to the GP recently to discuss whether there's been any advancements in medicine, to see if they've found one that won't clash with epilepsy drugs. It's a yes, but based on relatively small trials so no guarantees. Tough choice.

Also found there are psychologists based at GP surgeries now. Not sure whether that's a Scottish thing or specific to regions but that's a great idea. Logistically if nothing else, but also takes away that stigma of going to a dedicated mental health facility.

 

[cedinero]

Eat healthy, sleep well, do sports, read, socialize. It's all about being confident. The rest will vanish.

 

[Flipper the Priest]

Eat healthy, sleep well, do sports, read, socialize. It's all about being confident. The rest will vanish.

All sage advice and certainly does help. Vanish may be a bit strong but looking after yourself can keep it at bay.

 

[PeterC10]

Eat healthy, sleep well, do sports, read, socialize. It's all about being confident. The rest will vanish.

Hardest part for me! Mind wont rest, not helped by tinnitus.

 

[Flipper the Priest]

Hardest part for me! Mind wont rest, not helped by tinnitus.

I get that infrequently but thankfully not at night; it's horrendous.

At my worst sleep was almost impossible. Sunday nights - Jesus wept. As soon as Adrian Chiles said his farewells on MotD2 I was in tatters, panicking at the thought of work, facing people. Had to get rid of any clocks in my room as all I'd do is watching the minutes go by. Strange that I don't even recognise that person anymore.

 

[Stan]

When i compare most of stories in this thread, they seem similar to my son's story. That makes me believe that talking with 'fellow patients' (i'm sorry i'm a a non native English speaker, can't find a better term, but i do know that this one is far from good, rest assured that i mean well) is a very good thing.

You see that other people go through the same ordeal and you can learn from their methods to cope.
Mental health still is a huge taboo. What happened to my son greatly affected me and for example my best friend was unable to talk about it. He has a son who at the time was 9 years old and the way he reacted to Thomas told me a lot about how his father's take on things was (very negative). It wasn't a surprise for me that this frienship slowly stopped…

What was worse (for him) was that my friend also had mental health issues, i told hem t oseek advice and go to a therapist, but he wouldn't listen to me. Then i talked about it with his wife and he was furious because of that. He still hasn't searched help and things are getting worse and worse. I've mailed him a couple of times to help him, but he doesn't anwer my mails anymore. I hear from various people that he is very unhappy but tries to hide it. He is a very competitive person and 'winning' is terribly important for him...

 

[oxide]

I am getting tired of mental health threads on EVERY FORUM..bodybuilding, business, now this forum. I have issues too, strong anxiety, etc but IMO trying to get so much attention to it IS NOT THE RIGHT THING.

Stop bitching about it, LIVE LIFE, DO A LOT OF STUFF EACH DAY and shit goes away. You just have to do A LOT for A LONG TIME. Imagine living in 1800 - or being a farmer - you do a ton of things each day!!!! I was with farmers last month, there is no time to rest and sulk!

 

[PeterC10]

I am getting tired of mental health threads on EVERY FORUM..bodybuilding, business, now this forum. I have issues too, strong anxiety, etc but IMO trying to get so much attention to it IS NOT THE RIGHT THING.

Stop bitching about it, LIVE LIFE, DO A LOT OF STUFF EACH DAY and shit goes away. You just have to do A LOT for A LONG TIME. Imagine living in 1800 - or being a farmer - you do a ton of things each day!!!! I was with farmers last month, there is no time to rest and sulk!

 

[Flipper the Priest]

I am getting tired of mental health threads on EVERY FORUM..bodybuilding, business, now this forum. I have issues too, strong anxiety, etc but IMO trying to get so much attention to it IS NOT THE RIGHT THING.

Stop bitching about it, LIVE LIFE, DO A LOT OF STUFF EACH DAY and shit goes away. You just have to do A LOT for A LONG TIME. Imagine living in 1800 - or being a farmer - you do a ton of things each day!!!! I was with farmers last month, there is no time to rest and sulk!

It's great that you, farmers and those living in 1800 are tickety boo. Hopefully others read your comprehensive advice and feel the same.

 

[oxide]

you guys are spreading this shit everywhere, its like outrage news - we dont need to talk about this so much. Have an issue? Go talk to your FRIENDS.

 

[Peter Withe]

I get that infrequently but thankfully not at night; it's horrendous.

At my worst sleep was almost impossible. Sunday nights - Jesus wept. As soon as Adrian Chiles said his farewells on MotD2 I was in tatters, panicking at the thought of work, facing people. Had to get rid of any clocks in my room as all I'd do is watching the minutes go by. Strange that I don't even recognise that person anymore.

Oh my days, I was exactly the same. I would dread Sunday nights and just lay there anxious, obsessing about not being able to sleep.

Once I started a new job and the night before my first day, I was wide awake all night having panic attacks.

I just have looked like the walking dead in the office on my first day. People were asking me if I was alright etc. I was so tired and anxious that I vomited.

That’s when I started drinking after work so I would definitely sleep. Except then I would wake up at 3am with a dry mouth and feel worse.

Bad times but they made me stronger as a person. I’m glad I went through it all in a weird way because now I can handle it better.

 

[Flipper the Priest]

you guys are spreading this shit everywhere, its like outrage news - we dont need to talk about this so much. Have an issue? Go talk to your FRIENDS.

I did. I do. But not everyone has friends. Or the ability to talk without fear of judgement.

The thing is I partially agree. There is too much talk about mental health. Too much hollow talk. But meaningful dialogue and the sharing of experience is valuable. And at very least it does no harm.

Oh my days, I was exactly the same. I would dread Sunday nights and just lay there anxious, obsessing about not being able to sleep.

Once I started a new job and the night before my first day, I was wide awake all night having panic attacks.

I just have looked like the walking dead in the office on my first day. People were asking me if I was alright etc. I was so tired and anxious that I vomited.

That’s when I started drinking after work so I would definitely sleep. Except then I would wake up at 3am with a dry mouth and feel worse.

Bad times but they made me stronger as a person. I’m glad I went through it all in a weird way because now I can handle it better.

Very much know how you feel. Getting hammered after work on Friday and drinking into Sunday night didn't help me. But it made that time period bearable. All came to a head on the Sunday night though.